I have found the secret to happiness

Really, I have.  It can be summed up in two words: manage expectations.

I’m with the Buddhists on this one; yearning makes us unhappy.  Yearning for stuff like bigger houses, or fancy holidays (I know, I’m a fine one to talk), or nicer weather, or a smaller nose.  Either the thing you are yearning for is unachievable, or you will achieve it, feel better for five minutes, then you’ll start yearning for something else.

And here’s the thing.  Not only will the thing you’re yearning for not make you happy, but it’ll also distract you from the real stuff, the good stuff, the everyday stuff that makes life worth living.  Proper coffee, good books, the smell of your kids, peonies flowering, real fires, cotton sheets and feather pillows.  Our lists will all be different, but we all have a list.  And that list is what can make you happy.  I promise.

No need to thank me.

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8 comments
  1. Heather said:

    I think you should run a retreat…

    • Victoria said:

      I could make my fortune. Then buy a bigger house…

  2. Unfulfillable aspirations can be good. I dream of a large country garden with a cedar tree on the lawn and writing an acclaimed novel. I’ll almost certainly never achieve either, but I enjoy the fantasy. But then I’m also well content with my small garden with its apple tree and my unacclaimed blog!

    • Victoria said:

      I’m not saying don’t dream, but I think the key is being content with your reality.

  3. Tyson said:

    I agree. More so, I think happiness is simply love. And simple love at that. A love void of expectations, obligations and, most of all, fear. There is no room for hurt with love. Love for self, the world and every living creature. Move forward with love and happiness will appear.

    That said, I think our idea of ‘happiness’ is misconstrued. Ours, being humanities. It seems to be locked up in things. And I’m under the assumption that less truly is more.

    Unless it is love. Then more is more. 😀

  4. Kelly said:

    Thank you anyway.

    Although I don’t think that it is yearning that makes me less happy these days, after all I am suddenly in the position that I have everything I ever wanted and now have to have a bit of a think about what next? For me it is more about setting myself up to fail too much. I expect too much of myself, then I am bound to fail. So lowering my expectations as well as noticing the small things as you say makes me a much happier person.

    Unless small children keep me awake all night, or I run out of cake. Then I am just a grumpy cow!

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