There’s a lot I don’t like about Christmas.
But before you dismiss me as a modern day Scrooge and click onto the next post, please hear me out. I’m as festive as the next person come December. I love giving presents to my loved ones, watching my children act out the birth of Christ in dressing gowns and tea towels and singing the songs of my childhood in a candlelit church. I love Christmas, but there’s a lot about it I don’t like.
I don’t like people talking about it in October when the leaves are still on the trees. I don’t like how it seems to be mostly about spending money. I don’t like that there’s a huge pressure to do it exactly right. Whatever right is. And most of all I hate chocolate advent calendars.
I’m not particularly religious and I’m not a dentist, but to me they epitomise everything that is awful about Christmas. They are almost always decorated with branded images that bear zero relation to anything festive, it’s just a case of mega companies cashing in. I’ve seen Simpsons, Hello Kitty and The Stig calendars, without so much as a sprig of holly. They imply that children should get some kind of daily reward just because Jesus was born; they shouldn’t, Christmas isn’t about rewards and this is yet another thing giving children a nasty sense of entitlement. And the chocolate is hideous, it’s not chocolate it’s brown fat with flavourings and piles of cheap sugar. It’s completely wrong that we feed it to children and nothing will convince me otherwise.
There are so many things that are magical about Christmas, but chocolate advent calendars aren’t one of them. And now I’m off to buy a pretty glittery card one with pictures of bells and toy drums inside the doors…